m. from my mother. Before I get into this story, I should probably tell you that, for whatever reason, we somehow just started being civil to each other again. Anyway, she called my crying and said that she was in the hospital and her face was messed up. I was terrified. I had no idea what to do, so I went downstairs and woke up my aunt and we left for the hospital. OMG. I never want to see my mom like that. Ever. Again. Sorry if I gross you out, but there was blood everywhere. Her hands, clothes, blankets, face, everything was covered in her blood. I know my mom and I don’t get along but I sure as hell would never have wished this upon her. Without too much detail, they had to stitch up her face and do plastic surgery to fix it…I left when they were putting the stitches in because I can’t handle that. Thankfully, she’s going to be okay, but I fear that this procedure is going to make her even more self conscious about herself. Just like we all are/were self conscious with our bodies, well my mother is like that with her face. And I fear that this is going to make her absolutely miserable, which in turn, makes me absolutely miserable…
I loveee boys
On an awesome ending note, I’m already completely over Ryan. I thought it’d take me forever, but it didn’t and I’m so happy about it. The best part is, I already feel SO much better about everything, like my life, future and myself. I’m not saying that he made me miserable or anything because that’s not true. But I think it’s time for me to go out and have my flirty fun, which I’ve already started doing! Hehe. =D
You can’t stop me.
Things have apps like pof been so crazy lately. Basically, I’ve been spending my time with Sabrina and it’s been awesome. We’ve grown so close lately. We’ve been friends since 8th grade, but when we used to hang out, we always just had fun and forget all our problems. We never talked about anything personal, we never had any clue what was really going on in each others lives. Over the past few months, that has drastically changed. Sabrina and I talk about EVERYTHING. Heartbreak. School. Boys. Family. Eating. Adulthood. Money. Jobs. Movies. The past. We talk about it all. I’m incredibly happy to say that Sabrina is my best girlfriend.
We’ve been taking more pictures together, hanging out more, going out for treats like Rita’s and driving around just blaring music and simply talking. Last weekend we even went to the pet store and played with this little dacshund, Annie! She was adorable!
The only problem that we’ve-well, I’ve-been struggling with about her is prom. She got asked by a few guys to go and she said no and used the excuse that she was going with me. Fine, that’s cool, right? Well to be completely honest, I’m terrified. I do not, by any means, want to go to prom. I’m so self conscious and I don’t even wanna try to find a dress and go all night and endure pictures with my beautiful friend and think even less of myself. If I hadn’t gone through this huge weight gain process, I would gladly go with her. Now, I know what you all are going to say…You’re beautiful just the way you are, just go and have fun. But, guys, think about this. Imagine taking your current body and doubling it and then that would be your new size. Scary, right? Yeah, well that’s my body. Seriously. I’m not being dramatic or trying to whine but it’s true. I’m trying to come up with any excuse that I can to avoid going but I don’t want to disappoint her. What should I do?