7. Leave Selfies and Filters in 2021

7. Leave Selfies and Filters in 2021

“It is very likely the people you admire and genuinely care for in your world hang out with and have a close relationship with other admirable and quality people who may also be looking for a new love,” says McNeil. “Letting your network (co-workers, neighbors, colleagues, etc.) know you are open to and interested in meeting some new people this year is just reinforcing your efforts with help from a community who probably has your back, and wants to help you find the best match.”

“Dating profiles that are filled with selfies make that person look like they have no social life, or like they love themselves more than anyone else ever could,” says dating profile writer Eric Resnick. “You don’t need a ton of group shots in your profile, but have your friend’s take some pics for you. You are going to have a much more natural smile when you are relaxing with your friends than when you are trying to look at the screen with one eye and at the lens with the other.”

8. Don’t Just “Spray and Pray” Online Dating Messages

Sending out the same top college hookup apps message to hundreds of potential matches online may make your inbox more full, but if you’re serious about finding love this year, Resnick says to go for quality over quantity.

“Don’t message a woman unless there’s some evidence in her profile that she’s looking for someone like you,” he says.

9. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Off the Wheel

Dating apps can be great tools to help you find love, but they can also burn you out. If it’s too much to handle, it’s alright if you want to take a breather.

“Online dating should not be a part-time job,” says Resnick. “If you’re spending more than 20 minutes of your day on it in 2021, it’s time to limit yourself in 2022. FOMO isn’t real here, but burnout is. The people you don’t see today will still be there tomorrow, but your will to find them might not be.”

10. Know What You Value

What actually matters to you in a relationship? Getting clear on what you value most in a potential partner will help make it clear when you’ve found the right one for you.

“When you are unsure what matters to you in a relationship, it can be easy to be swayed purely by chemistry rather than an actual character traits connection,” says Cook. “Does your ideal life include adventure, safety, achievement, connection, creativity? From this, you can begin identifying what matters most to you.”

11. Be Vulnerable Where It Matters

“Many of us either operate in a space where we are totally closed off or share too much,” says Cook. “Find a happy medium where you are willing to connect in a safe and open way that allows you to get to know someone. You can still protect your heart without appearing guarded and defensive. If you notice that your partner has a wall up as well, carefully consider if they are at a place in their lives where they are willing to be thoughtfully vulnerable as well. In other words: Don’t date someone who is not open to love at this time.”

12. Own Who You Are and What You Want in a Relationship

If you really want to be in a serious relationship, why pretend you don’t to appease someone else? It’s okay to make that known.

“Pretending to be interested in only casually dating or portraying yourself as someone who is willing to hook up without a commitment when that isn’t who you are is not going to serve you in relationships,” says McNeil. “You send mixed messages to both the new partner and yourself by accepting less than you want. The right person for you will find it refreshing and attractive that you are willing to own who you are, and state your expectations about what you are looking for regardless of whether or not the other person agrees or validates you.”

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